We scan the headlines so you don’t have to.
by Ande Dagan, CelebSnacker
Does ‘Yes on 8′ loving Miss California want to ‘opposite marry’ Michael Phelps? According to her gramma, they’re totes dating. Celebitchy
Is Nicole Kidman looking to adopt a furry banged, spitting, buck-toothed, funny looking thing? Take that, Angelina! Just Jared
Someone let Amy Winehouse near a stove in a kitchen and she accidentally went and tipped a pot of boiling water all over herself. Perez
Levi Johnston wants to write a book about the Palins. And by write, we mean he will transcribe his inner most thoughts into a tape recorder shaped like a moose at Wally World and send those thoughts to some poor intern at a publishing house who will then have to decode Johnston’s words and morph them into real English words. Gawker
Hey, it’s Earth Day! Check out this bunch of earth loving celebs. Popsugar
The new and sort of improved Susan Boyle! People