Light Reading: Michael Phelps and Miss California?

We scan the headlines so you don’t have to.
by Ande Dagan, CelebSnacker

Does ‘Yes on 8’ loving Miss California want to ‘opposite marry’ Michael Phelps? According to her gramma, they’re totes dating. Celebitchy
Carrie Prejean

Michael Phelps

Nicole KidmanIs Nicole Kidman looking to adopt a furry banged, spitting, buck-toothed, funny looking thing? Take that, Angelina! Just Jared

Amy WinehouseSomeone let Amy Winehouse near a stove in a kitchen and she accidentally went and tipped a pot of boiling water all over herself. Perez

Levi JohnstonLevi Johnston wants to write a book about the Palins. And by write, we mean he will transcribe his inner most thoughts into a tape recorder shaped like a moose at Wally World and send those thoughts to some poor intern at a publishing house who will then have to decode Johnston’s words and morph them into real English words. Gawker

Brad PittHey, it’s Earth Day! Check out this bunch of earth loving celebs. Popsugar

Susan BoyleThe new and sort of improved Susan Boyle! People

  • Mel

    Shoot, does this mean we have to boycott the Olympics? Phelps, I am sure you could get another stupid blonde. ANY other stupid blonde. Gross.

  • Ande

    Miss California is an ignorant idiot.

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