Scandalous in skin-tight latex while subsequently donning her Jesus tattoo on her wrist; [lastfm]Katy Perry [/lastfm]is a pop conundrum much like the faux-Victorian lifestyles of the British women Perry admires. Or as [lastfm]Lil’ Flip[/lastfm] raps: “a lady in the street and a freak in the sheets.” So, why does “honorary” Brit, [lastfm]Katy Perry[/lastfm], think that British babes are dirty little birdies?
[pullquote quote=”I love British culture and how it holds onto its manners.” credit=”Katy Perry”]
It seems like [lastfm]Katy Perry[/lastfm] has fallen victim to all that “teacup, pinky out” pretense that Brits like to claim as “proper social etiquette.” Perry explains:
I love British culture and how it holds onto its manners. People still give a s**t about social status. And it seems like they really don’t want to be embarrassed.
Obviously,[lastfm] Katy Perry [/lastfm]has never been amongst the working-class, the gangstas, or all the blasphemous drunk girls at the Universities. When we were living there, all the single girls wore devil horns on their head. Why? To signify they were horny. Yes, Katy. That is indeed the very picture of refinement.
It seems that while [lastfm]Katy Perry[/lastfm] has not experienced these British cultural phenomenons, she has been partial to insider information thanks to former drug and sex addict, fiancé [lastfm]Russell Brand.[/lastfm]
Oh yeah. I mean, English girls are sometimes the dirtiest girls. I only know that because my boyfriend had a few interactions.
Those “few” interactions included “fascinating” prostitutes that were “raw and honest.” Something that we are not sure [lastfm]Katy Perry [/lastfm] knows how to be with herself. Especially since she thinks she is so special and famous that she might not even have to go through any paperwork to apply for a UK citizenship.
I’m not too sure if I have to take a test as I’ve not had time to look into it. But England is like my second home. The country’s already kind of adopted me so maybe I don’t have to go through all the paperwork?
Maybe you don’t have to follow national and international laws, Katy. We don’t know how it works for celebrities. Perhaps the Queen will roll out a red latex carpet for you and offer you full citizenship while you hit up all the trendy London clubs making out with classy “British” girls.
Wait, if that does happen, we hope someone gets in on tape.