Booker’s Bachelor Breakdown: It Only Takes “Juan” (Pablo)

The Bachelor is back and you know what that means? The return of Booker’s recaps!

Every Tuesday morning, he breaks down the sexiest moments, the inevitable hot messes, and even imparts a little dating wisdom of his own along the way.

“This is like the Super Bowl of awesome for me!” Booker exclaimed bright and early this morning on AMP Radio. “Who needs football? I don’t care about football season!”

For this season, ABC selected man candy and former Bachelorette contestant Juan Pablo, a 32-year-old father of one with a sexy Spanish accent. Also working in his favor? A first name that’s just screaming for puns.

“We’ve got a Latin lover this year. By the way, you know what month it is, Carson? It’s Juan-uary! That’s right!”

“I love Juan Pablo,” Booker continued. “It’s not another generic, boring, white dude. He’s not like that meat head, Sean, from last year with the born-again virgin nonsense. This guy’s going to get some action, I can tell, which is fun for the viewer. There’s going to be some fights. It’s going to be a great season of The Bachelor.”

The ladies are clearly loving this year’s choice. Demand for Juan Pablo was so high, ABC increased the pool of women vying for his affections from 25 to 27.

“Why do the good-looking guys need 27 options for dates?” Carson asked.

“We can’t stop ourselves!” Booker argued. “You give us the opportunity for 27 women, we’re all going to say yes.”

At the beginning of each season, Booker always boldly predicts which woman has what it takes to make it all the way to the altar. This time, Booker’s going with 26-year-old Andi.

“I love it when a chick has a dude’s name. She’s a district attorney in Atlanta. I’m going to pick her to win the whole thing.”

Carson, who hasn’t watched the show at all, made a guess as well.

“I’m gonna go with the opera singer,” he declared.

Carson may be onto something, Sharleen actually won the first impression rose last night, which means she’s got an early head start on the rest of the ladies.

There was also a big discussion over Juan Pablo’s use of the word “cute” to describe one of the women.

“I don’t think any girl likes to be called cute. I mean, they’ll take it over nothing,” Carson said. “It keeps you in the game, I guess, if you like the guy.”

“You want to be friends with the cute girl,” Producer Angie chimed in. “You don’t want to date the cute girl.”

So “cute” may be the kiss of death, but we can all agree that committing the cardinal sin of talking about an ex during a date is way, way worse. That honor goes to Lauren H., who was the first crier of season 18 at only an hour and 21 minutes into the first episode.

“Don’t ever, ever, ever, ever bring up your ex unless we specifically ask to hear about the ex,” Booker warned. “Dummy! Dummy!”

Sure enough, Lauren H. was sent home without a rose, along with Alexis, Amy J., Ashley, Christine, Kylie, Maggie and Valerie.

“Juan”-dering what’s in store for this season? Yup, we just said that. Watch a preview below:

-Sarah Carroll, 97.1 AMP Radio/Los Angeles

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