Booker’s Bachelor Breakdown: “Juan-On-Juan” Dates Begin
Who needs Juan Pablo and ABC when the ultimate bachelor works right here at AMP Radio?
That’s right, we’re talking about our afternoon DJ stud, Chris Booker!
But you know what they say, two bachelors are better than one…not sure who actually said that, but let’s face it ladies, it’s true.
“Honest to God, I don’t know why more dudes aren’t watching this,” Booker told Carson. “Last night, it was a ton of hot tub scenes, we had a photo shoot in bikinis, we’ve got girls talking to each other, you know, pensive conversations in their underwear. This show is awesome, dude!”
We’re just getting started with season 18, which kicked off last week.
“It’s kind of like football season, you know what I mean?” he explained. “We’re in the regular season right now. You pick your favorite team and you hope that team rides right into the playoffs. So basically, we’re week two of the football season, but you can kind of see the people sneaking out just a little bit.”
Last night featured one massive group date, and yes, two “Juan-on-Juan” dates. We’ve Juan puns for days, folks!
Clare was the first lucky lady to score a solo session with Mr. Pablo, with a day of sledding, skating, and debauchery on the docket.
“Immediately he gets her right into the hot tub,” Booker describes. “Now this girl is smart. What she did, she starts making out with Juan, he’s liking it. Then she drops it on him. She starts whining about her dead dad. Juan whips that rose right out!”
Strategy or not, Clare’s sad story was enough to win over Juan Pablo for at least another week.
Bachelorette Kat got physical during her solo date, running a 5K neon race with Juan. What’s the verdict? Let’s just say Booker wasn’t impressed.
“It was like one of those set-up dates that she had to get a rose because they ended up on stage in front of a bunch of people. She sucks. She’s going to be kicked off the show, I don’t like, her.”
Tell us how you really feel, Booker!
The rest of the 13 ladies were all lumped into a group date photo shoot, which featured some sexy set-ups.
“Oh, and that hot district attorney I told you about?” Booker said. “She had to pose nude, which was good. It was pretty hot, I liked that.”
Later in the evening, Juan Pablo encountered some huge red flags when one of the women admitted to calling her mother ten times a day.
“I’m not saying you shouldn’t have a good relationship with your mom,” Booker explained. “But when you’re doing it ten times a day, to a guy, it says you’re still a little girl. It doesn’t say you’re a woman.”
Then there was Victoria, who figured it was a smart idea to get completely wasted during the group date. The morning afterwards, Juan Pablo gave her the boot because as a father, he’s looking for a more stable relationship.
“Every season, I have to decide if our Bachelor is a butthole or if he’s brilliant. This is when I kind of realized this guy might be brilliant!” said Booker. “Because he gets to whip out the ‘I have a kid’ card and anytime he feels a girl that’s a little off her rocker, all he does is bring up the kid!”
During the rose ceremony, Juan Pablo narrowed down the field to 15 women and Booker thinks one of the early favorites still has a good chance to win it all.
“I still like the opera singer. I think she’s good. She is the frontrunner.”
-Sarah Carroll, 97.1 AMP Radio/Los Angeles