Booker’s Bachelor Breakdown: Viet-Juan Trip Leaves Clare-Dresser In An Awkward Situation
He and Carson yukked it up this morning, recapping the latest hook ups and hot messes.
This week, the 11 remaining bachelorettes headed down to “Viet-juan” to continue their quest to win Juan Pablo’s true affections.
“Last night was probably the best show in two seasons,” Booker declared. “Our Bachelor is starting to unravel, which is the best part of every year. He’s a little bit of a Jekyll and Hyde, if you will.”
How, you ask? Well, Booker was more than happy to elaborate.
“He acts all sensitive and everything, but as soon as you turn around for a second, he’s the guy that’s got his tongue jammed down five different girls’ throats…They should change this show from The Bachelor to The Predator.”
Exhibit A: the Clare-dresser from Sacramento. Booker speculates that the bachelor officially “juan-summated” his first relationship during a late night romp in the ocean with her.
“She knocks on Juan’s door at 4:30 in the morning because, okay, get this. She wants to take a swim in the ocean. Carson, a girl knocks on your door at 4:30 in the morning. Swim in the ocean? That means you’re gonna get down!”
At some point, the guilt started to set in and during the weekly cocktail party, Juan sat down with Clare to tell her he now regretted what happened.
“What he’s doing is basically calling her a ho, okay?” Booker said. “And then even worse, what he’s doing about it, he’s playing the kid card. He’s doing the ‘I don’t want my daughter to see me acting this way.’ It’s like, dude, it takes two to tango!”
“It sounds like he’s ‘Juan and done!'” Carson quipped. He had to, that joke was just waiting to happen!
Clare had already won a rose on the group date, so she was safe from elimination.
So what’s the deal with Carson’s pick, opera singer Sharleen?
“She was very emotional last night because she’s witnessing Juan make out with a bunch of girls and she’s getting emotional about that,” Booker said. “I think she might quit the show. Your girl might be out. I think she really liked him.”
You know who else really liked Juan? The three other women who were cut during the rose ceremony: Danielle, Kelly, and Alli.
“I mean, there were no surprises,” Booker admitted. “I couldn’t tell you any of the girls’ names. It’s the fat of the bone. It’s the San Diego Padres of baseball. You knew they weren’t going to win in the first place.”
Ladies and gentlemen…Chris Booker telling it like it is! They say honesty is the best policy, right?
Next week, Juan takes the ladies to New Zealand. Will Clare-dresser get the boot? There’s only one way to find out!
-Sarah Carroll, 97.1 AMP Radio/Los Angeles