Booker’s Bachelor Breakdown: “Juan” Woman Quits The Show!
“It’s tedious, to be honest with you, because there’s six girls, but really, there’s only three,” he explained during his weekly Bachelor breakdown.
“The other girls, they’re like the Lakers, you know what I mean? There’s six spots for the West, but you suck, Lakers. You’re not getting any of those spots. You’re not going anywhere, so that’s kind of what it’s like, but you’re a fan, so you’ve got to ride out the season.”
Miami, Juan Pablo’s hometown, served as the backdrop for this episode and of the remaining six women, only four will be able to return the favor with a hometown visit of their own. Booker’s particularly excited for one train wreck of a family.
“Clare-dresser, last night, she got one of the four final roses and it looks good for next week because her family, of course she’s from Sacramento, looks so trashy! It’s going to be the best episode!”
Dark horse Nikki the Nurse gained full frontrunner status last night during her date. She’s the only bachelorette thus far who has met Juan’s young daughter.
Booker’s pick, Andi the assistant district attorney, snatched up the final pre-cocktail party rose, which left three others fighting it out for that last spot.
“There’s three crappies left. I mean, we’re down to Chelsie, this girl, she’s just dead weight. She’s blonde, she’s a snore. I hate her face.”
Tell us how you really feel, Booker!
“There’s the stripper house mom,” he continued. “She’s more dead weight on the show, but she’s going to go. She doesn’t have a chance.”
And then there’s Sharleen the opera singer, who has been one of the favorites since episode one.
Juan Pablo is clearly enamored. He gushed about their budding relationship to his brother, but the same can’t be said for Sharleen. SPOILER ALERT: She up and quit the show!
“The idea of proposal doesn’t seem like something that is possible for me,” she revealed to Juan Pablo. “I don’t want to take the spot of someone else who is at that place. I don’t want you to think that I’ve wasted your time.”
Sharleen’s exit is a game-changer for the rest of the season and even Carson was surprised by the unexpected plot twist.
“When the frontrunner leaves the program, the other girls huddle up and go, ‘What’s wrong with this guy?'”
Nevertheless, the others are still in it to win it, which meant Juan Pablo had to decide between “Booker hates your face” Chelsie and stripper house mom Renee.
“They both are equally as boring, so it was kind of like flip a coin, take your pick because the other one’s going to go home next week.”
Juan Pablo decided to cut Chelsie, which means Renee, Nikki, Clare, and Andi are the lucky ladies taking part in next week’s super-sized Bachelor line-up.
“There’s two episodes next week. I’m only going to log one report. I can’t, I’ll kill myself! It’s hard, it’s a nightmare. I can’t wait for this to wrap up.”
If you’re asking yourself, how can Bachelor aficionado Booker hate watching the show? Well, the answer is simple:
“I like the fights and the scratchiness. The rest of it is just nonsense!”
-Sarah Carroll, 97.1 AMP Radio/Los Angeles